Well, the clue is in the name! The Tarset Grumpies.
We are a group of close friends from widely variant backgrounds and hence widely variant attitudes towards life, who get together on a Tuesday evening at the Holy Shrine that is the Holly Bush, to partake of that elixir of life – Nel’s Best.
This wide spectrum of experience enables us to satisfactorily resolve most of the world’s problems, be they financial, political or whatever. However, as each of us has a substantial account of years in the bank of life, and suffering the predictable resultant memory shortages, these solutions never seem to get forwarded to those who govern us!
Very occasionally, we are overtaken by a strange social conscience and break out of our routine to undertake some fund-raising activity for charity. But fear not, these aberrations are short-lived and we rapidly recover in our temple, being cared for by our alter-girl Sheila.
Entry to our esteemed group is unrestricted, in fact occasionally visiting tourists become entangled in our discussions! However, applicants must demonstrate their ability to be grumpy and quaff ale at the same time and may (at the discretion of those present at the time) be required to undertake an initiation test. This may include demanding crisps for the group or even complaining about the beer to Sheila!